I actively try to be happy. I work very hard at it, actually. But, I think I forget that many other people dont, or at least dont feel like that is an option or a way to deal with the world.
Dont get me wrong here--I dont think that Im in control of my emotions, and sometimes I royally suck at being happy. But, I think that my effort at least has shown through, both in the way I see myself and my life and the way others perceive me.
It takes energy. Maybe some people just have a hard time having that energy. The last month for me has been quite stressful and I think I've had more patches of not-as-happy than I would if I were well rested and less stressed.
..but still, I think I need reminding sometimes that many others do not feel that they can put effort and work into pushing their emotions in a certain direction.
Perhaps it is all a matter of my perspective or bias--I mean, I had a discussion with a friend a while back about how its not a given that a person would want to be happy.
What are your thoughts on the matter? How do you go about trying to be happy, or do you?
Hey Folks that have been to Germany for exchanges and such--Did you apply for a DAAD scholarship? If so, what was your experience?
Also, does anyone know what this particular clause means?:
"At the time of application, applicants may not be living in Germany for a period of more than one year."
Does that mean that one cannot be living in Germany for more than THE year before applying, or that one cannot have lived in Germany for more than one year total in one's lifetime before applying?
It makes a big difference, because I've lived in Germany for a year, but I wont be living there for the year prior to my application.
Basically, as an update on my life for everyone who's curious--Im strongly considering getting a second masters in History right after I finish up my MLIS. And yes, I intend to do it in Germany! I will certainly be moving to Germany to live with my Sweet after I graduate next spring, but it remains to be seen if I do a Masters there, try to get a job or try to do an internship or a combo of any of those. If I get a DAAD scholarship, Im doin' the masters (assuming they let me in). The scholarships are REALLY awesome--basically, they give you a stipend of 750 euros a month, or so, they pay for insurance and they even will buy you plane tickets to get to and from. In Goettingen, living with my sweet, I'd easily be able to live off of that! Maybe even with some extra money to spare.
Other things in my life right now--Im almost finished with an internship at the Seattle Public Library, at the busiest of the 26+ branches (not counting central). Its the awesomest team to work with EVER, and I have learned SO MUCH. I did story time yesterday! It was great. : )
Im leaving to visit my sweet and take a class in the Netherlands on August 19th. Im excited.
The big SUCK right now is that I have contracted headlice from somewhere. Im really pretty pissed. I should be at the tail end right now--I've done the shampooing and the combing and the everything for the last two weeks. However, It hink I've givne it to my housemate so I have to be on my guard. My head was a little itchy today, which made me really nervous, but it could be ascribed to other factors. For example, I woke up late and didnt wash my hair. I sweated a lot today. Also, I've been wearing a headscarf as a precaution for work and the internship etc. So, warm day + sweat + headscarf + not having washed it might have just made my head a little itchy. Still, Im all paranoid, so I'll be oiling my hair again tonight and combing through it tomorrow morning. If I keep doing that every few days Im hoping that it'll then magically either go away if I have it again or never happen again. This needs to be done by three weeks from now, basically. No other option! The hair will go if the lice dont. (I've always wanted to shave my head, actually, though my Sweet is not in favor of it so I dont do it if I dont have to)
One side effect of the headbug is being banished from working at the retirement community. I understand really--a building full of 150+ old people + headbugs = really really bad. It means less money, though, and I feel very irresponsible--the library looks terrible I am sure. I will be in contact with them--maybe I can get them to pay a friend or something to go neaten things up. This also sucks a lot because I will be leaving for six weeks once Im off to Germany, which means that they'll REALLY not have a librarian... Blarg.
The bookstore job I have is going well though, and I really like them! Im doing some great things, and I really enjoy it. They're good people. I've been buying a lot of books too, which is awesome. Yay!
uhmmmmmmm I've been reading a lot! I did a display for the teen area at my library for the internship, and so I read a lot of those, and I picked up a new author: Patricia C. McKillip. I've really been enjoying her stuff, though Alphabet of Thorn has been very much my favorite so far.
And yeah, thats mostly it. : ) My life is pretty good all things considered, though of course very busy. I'm sure Im forgetting a million things to tell you all! But yes, good times in general.
Ok, off I go to work on stuff. YAY!
Life is settling down a bit. I appreciate that, universe, thank you.
My summer is going very quickly, and I have been quite busy learning things. : ) I like that.
My summer will continue to be full of learning things. I like that too!
Unfortunately, I have not been great at keeping up with people, for which I apologize. Really, though, in the last couple of weeks I have missed you all more than ever.
I do know that I will be spending weeks of next summer at home in CA. That means trips to Davis, and tea with people, and just.. letting everything go after graduation. I feel like Im already ready for that, but I have a whole 'nother year. I'll make it work!
Anyhow, Have to get back to house stuff and things!
I'll see some of you someday soon....
So, I will technically be in CA during the first weekend of Tahoe. I fly in on June 5th, so I would only be able to do the 6th if that. In order for me to do that, I would have to find a way up there and back given those parameters. I'll be in Berkeley, but I can get to Davis fine. I just dont want to drive all the way to Tahoe and back by myself. Im ok going up the night of the 5th, but I'd want to be back by the (late) night of the 6th, so that I can be in Berkeley on Monday morning.
...I know its a long shot, but I'd love to go and dance!
If any of you have a schedule that fits that, and would be willing to give me a ride, pop me an email!
I have bell pads now! weeheehee!
I get to be a real
drunk morris dancer now, huzzah! Im LOUD!
Thank you all who tried to help me with the proxy problem. I have been successful in setting up a proxy (especially thanks to nightbluesprite's link), but Im still not at getting what I want. grr. I can get to the point where the site recognizes that Im allowed to be there, but then there's a "verbingdungsproblem" a "connection problem" and it wont buffer or load the video I'd like to gain access to. I dont know if that is because of the proxy or because of something else.
We'll see what happens. I still have some more experimentation to do.
Would someone explain to me how to use proxies right? Im asking specifically about how to make it look like Im from a different place, i.e. to view things that are only for the UK or for Germany, or for the US when Im in Germany off of a German IP address. I find that extremely frustrating and I dont know how to bypass it safely. I honestly understand when its something thats coming out on DVD or some such, but many things cannot be otherwise accessed. I suppose I am not a citizen of Germany, so I get that logic, but I dont really understand why I have to get shut out from US stuff when Im abroad.
...so anyhow, if someone could explain that, that'd be really cool.
This time tomorrow my sweet will be in my arms. eee!
I've been really crazy busy. I think this week was one of the more stressful ones, last week too, but most of that is my own fault. I was (am?) trying to get everything as done as possible before M gets here, for one, but also I did not plan ahead as much as I should have. I blame getting a job--it severely curtailed my free time, so I had to completely restructure how and when I do things. It always takes me a week or two to get used to that, but that was.. well, three weeks ago or so. So, yknow.
Eventually I will have time to socialize, but Im in a bit of a hermit spot right now. Im sorry if I havnt talked to you all in a while. It'll happen. I havnt forgotten you : )
Soooooo life just got really busy, which is why you all havnt hear much from me. Im taking about 1.5x the normal load, and I just got some good time consuming stuff!
First off, I got a job! Yay! Im cataloging for an AWESOME used book store thats amazing. I get a great discount and I feel like Im learning so much! Its 15 hours a week.
Second, I just accepted an 8 hr a week job today! It does not start until April, but Im really excited about it. Its a library in a retirement home for people affiliated with UW (professors, librarians etc. etc.). I get complete control over it, with some financial strings attached! But really, Im super excited, and it'll be great experience. The bummer is that they want a year commitment, which means that I wont be leaving to live in Germany all of summer. ON the other hand, I get to hang out in Seattle and see more of it. I would also get to be here during the crazy awesome weather, and probably take summer classes too! Im very excited about that part! Plus, they're PAYING me for this stuff! I still cant quite get over that part...
Third, my Sweet comes very very soon. I am so impatient! whaagh!
Fourth, Im going to be in the Neatherlands between the middle of August and the middle of September for an amazing class about Dutch libraries and research stuff. Im super excited. Best part? My Sweet gets to come with! whee!
Fifth, everything in the world is due on Friday for me. Get this--I have to i) sign up for classes at 6am, ii) give a 50 minute presentation with my group in class starting at 8:30, iii) turn in my 15 page draft of a paper for the same class, iv) turn in an assignment for another class, v) take a quiz by then, vi) turn in another mini-essay and vii) go to work! Brain is so exploding! On the other hand, highschool theater really did train me well--Im 90% done with all of those things (assuming I can be at this point). Isnt that crazy? I have to pretty up my citations and footnotes for the 15 pager tonight, and the others I will do tomorrow or read over and edit.
Sixth, Im volunteering at the Washington Talking Book and Braille Library, which is great! Im going tomorrow. Im also volunteering at the Seattle Public Library, which is really cool too!
Seventh, I originally thought I'd be volunteering at the Seattle Art Museum's libraries too, but now I dont have any time. Ohwell.
Eighth, Im too busy for my own good!
ninth, this is such a cool number
tenth, did I mention my Sweet is coming? Whee! I have another 15 page paper and several assignments due before then. But it'll be good.
Ok, ten things is good for now. Off to work!